I've felt a scratching in my bones.
Tigers use trees as their scratching posts, and for the longest time there was something deep within me, right in my centre, that dug their claws at my insides just like a very frustrated cat demanding to be released. They paced back and forth in my belly, stretched languidly between my ribcage, or slept restlessly between my shoulder blades. I felt them all the time... but ignored them.
I rarely let them out—not even when I was alone. On the very rare occasions when I did, they were tethered; small and nervous, because I was ashamed of them, and they knew it.
Bad thoughts beget bad feelings. It's no wonder they were so frightened and unsure. I made them feel like they were wrong for merely existing when they were the part that bridged me to my ancestors, my deities, and the universe.
As I've gotten older, I care less about the judgment of others. The little creature has turned into a very big playful beast—terrifying and free—and they are the anchor that keeps me connected to my body and all that is Unseen. It is an honour and a pleasure to walk with them, to collaborate with them and learn from them.
And we love to play with others too, whether it's in the role of listener, advisor, student, or friend. We are here with cards and candles to cry, laugh, and learn with you.
Audrey is a gender non-conforming Scottish-Indonesian multipotentialite based in Naarm, Australia.
Their penchant for trying many things means they are passionate about many things. The most noteworthy ones are:
Collaborating with Source to create stories that explore the highs and lows of sex and relationships
Self-worship, and the body being our prime altar
Fat bodies and sexuality
Co-working with ancestors and deities through divination
Self-care through the use of tarot and oracle cards
Body neutrality and challenging diet culture and fat bias
Selfies as self-care
Through these passions, Aud strives to help others find empowerment, pleasure, clarity, and peace through all creative endeavours.